Verbal Abuse

I made a decision today to post every incident that happens. He has been raging all day long because I said something about the mini blinds on the living room windows. We had gone out to breakfast and came home. We ate at Denny's.

He was putting the storm windows back in and had the mini blinds pulled all the way up exposing the entire window. There has been an ongoing battle for months at our house about him doing this. He said I liked "living in a cave" and that I must have "something to hide" because I don't want to expose my living room to every car that passes my house at night.

In fact, one night a female friend of HIS that he used to hang out with years ago called and actually said something to him about being able to see right into our living room one night when she picked her daughter up at the high school directly across the street from us. I was sure he would realize that it wasn't just me at this point. But nooooo, he continues to do it. As a matter of fact it seems he PURPOSELY does anything and everything he can that he thinks will aggravate anyone. That is reverse thinking from the normal person. Most of us in life do our level best to get along, but HE thinks bucking everything makes him "the man".

When I asked today WHY the blinds were once again all the way up, he puffed out his chest and cheeks and started yelling that I "felt the need to dominate him", "control him", etc etc. He went on and on. We got into an argument which resulted in me finally going upstairs and taking about a 3-hour nap just to get away from him.

I got up about 7pm and it just continued. I feel he had already ruined what could have been a good day so I did not have much to say to him. About 7:30, he began asking me if I wanted to eat something. I told him the day was nearly over and "no thank you."

I asked him if he felt nothing about his behavior today or any of the abuse he has inflicted upon me in the past BOTH physically and verbally. He had the nerve to say, "I have never done anything to you that you did not instigate or goad me into". This comes from the mouth of a man who was COURT ORDERED to Anger Management and had a 2-year Protective Order against him from beating me in the side of the head on Halloween night 2005. Its bad enough to hurt others, but this man has NO REMORSE for ANY of his actions.

Before his "episode" ended tonight, he had calle me an "ignorant f'ing bitch", a "stupid hillbilly", and a "lazy ass bitch." Then has the nerve to ask me if I am still having Thanksgiving for everyone???? In other words, he thinks he can do as he pleases and nothing he WANTS should change no matter what he has done. And he calls me "Psychotic"??????

I really think he could be capable of anything and then doing everything he can to cover up what he did. He truly believes he has never done anything wrong.

Labels: Abuse, Anger Management, Batterer, domestic violence, Verbal Abuse

Priorities

They say there are some men who cannot bear the thought of a women being ill, they see it as a weakness. I know this is not true with all men, but it IS true with my husband. He becomes meaner and more abusive to me when I am feeling poorly.

I suffer often with severe cluster headaches. I take extremely strong medication for them and the side effects vary from one dose to the next. Sometimes I feel I am going to be sicj at my stomach and sometimes I do get deathly sick at my stomach.

Anyway, today I had one of those horrid aches in my head. He called from work and seemed concerned. He asked if there was anything he could bring me. I told him I was about to take one of my pills and I had waited till time for him to come home due to the serious side effects. In other words, I didn't want to be alone in case this dose mde me ill. He said he would be right home and would stop and get me some clear soda and crackers to try and calm my stomach.

I waited for nearly an hour after he clocked out and he finally turned up. He had no soda, no crackers, no nothing. BUT..............he did have his loud-mouthed buddy with him. So, he had forgotten all about my stuff and went to visit his buddy instead. Now he is telling me the two of them need to go drop a car off somewhere. I said, "this is not a good time to be away". He said he HAD to do it now and then he left.

He will be in no hurry to get back and I guarantee the loud-mouth will come bursting in with him and any rest I had hoped for will become a dream.

My husband has no respect for me or any woman for that matter. He pretends to be all concerned about everyone but me, then behind their back, he puts them down. It is sickening to think I once thought we had anything in common. Who is this man?

Labels: Abuse, domestic violence, friends, headaches, illness, priorities

Summer

Summer Passes

An entire season has past almost and I wish I could say it had been uneventful but it has not. The batering continued but I forgot days, dates, etc so what good is it? The last physical thing he did was to bite me on the left ear so hard that it bled. I cried and he just stared at me as though he had no clue as to my tears or what caused them.

I pulled my hand away from my ear and the blood was on my fingertips. He never even flinched nor did he show an ounce of remorse. He never does.

Labels: Abuse, Batterer, Battering, Biting, Blood, Ear, Human Bite

Lovers

He called her everyday and they saw each other as often as possible. Every moment they spent together was wonderful. They had so many things in common. They both held a great love for water sports, art, museums, and the outdoors. She found herself dreading the end of her vacation which was quickly drawing near. When she returned home it would put a distance of over 800 miles between them and she was not looking forward to that.

When they were not together, she found herself thinking about him. This was unusual for her, it was usually not the way she did things. She usually found it easy to move ahead and leave the past behind. But somehow she knew this man was not going to be easy to forget about when she returned home.

On her last night in town, he took her to a quaint little bistro just outside the city. They had been seeing each other almost daily for about 3 weeks. She hated goodbyes so she had not looked forward to this dinner. After dinner he asked her to walk with him down by the water so they could talk. They walked along holding hands as if they had know each other forever. It was small talk at first but then he suddenly stopped near a small bench and turned to face her. He said he had never met anyone in his entire life that had swept him away like she had and he did not want to think of her leaving. He told her he had waited a lifetime to find someone like her and he couldn't believe that tomorrow she would be gone from his life forever.

They stood in the moonlight gazing at the stars and looking out across the water. He stood behind her with his arms tucked neatly around her waist. She could feel his heart beating against her back and the very nearness of him was making her dizzy. All at once he whispered into her ear, "I don't know when or how it happened, but I think I am in love with you." He went on to say, "I want you to consider extending your vacation a few more weeks if possible to give us a chance to see how this thing goes." In her heart she already knew she wanted to stay longer too so she agreed. He kissed her for the very first time right then. It was a smoldery deep kiss which left her feeling more passionate than she had in a long time. It was like he was exploring her lips and mouth with his own.

That night he asked her to stay with him and she agreed. He had part of his house rented out to a friend so they tiptoed in so they did not wake him. He led her up the stairs to his bedroom being careful not to rush the moment at hand. He undressed her slowly and begin to touch and caress her with expert hands. He made love to her in a way she had never experienced with anyone. It was as though his only goal was to please her. He whispered that he would do anything to be the lover she wanted, she just had to tell him what she wanted.

Afterwards, they lay in the dark talking. She had her head on his chest and realized that for the first time in her life, she felt she was somewhere she truly belonged. She knew at that moment she would definitely stay in town another week at least.

Labels: Lovers, Romance, Sex

The First Date

He had told her on the phone that he currently worked the evening shift so he would have to head for work right after lunch. She didn't mind, she had not really looked forward to this "date" and was anxious to get it over with. He just seemed a bit egotistical to her.

She wasn't sure what bothered her about him other than his constant push to meet her. Surely with his good looks he could have his choice of women. He was tall, tanned, blonde, and extremely good looking. She too was easy on the eyes. Tall, leggy, tanned and toned. She came from a very good background and was very well educated. Friends often described her as "every man's dream" but she wasn't conceited. She had never been very lucky in love.

When he picked her up, he was charming in every way and the perfect gentleman. He had brought her a single yellow rose and told her the moment he saw it he had been reminded of her. He was good at knowing the perfect thing to say. He told her they were lunching at a favorite place of his. So she was a little surprised when he pulled into the marina. He led her down the steps toward the water and stopped in front of a small sailing vessel. Surely the were not going boating. She had on a dress and heels but he insisted she was dressed perfectly as he helped her aboard. Within minutes they were speeding across the water toward a restaurant on the other side of the lake. She had to admit, this was an impressive first date so far.

He had reserved a table for them on the outdoor deck which had a marvelous view of the water. The setting was like something right out of a romance novel. He asked if he might order for her and she agreed. They feasted on fresh salad, lobster tail, and chocolate mousse. After lunch they enjoyed iced melon coolers and began to talk in an effort to get to know each other better.

He asked if she had ever been married. She told him she had been long ago and also that she had children who were older. He said he had never been married and never had any children. Since they were both middle-aged, she was surprised that he had never been married for some reason. He admitted he had considered it once and had gotten cold feet in the end. He told her he was an only child and that his father was deceased. He said he had been raised by his Mother and his step-father. He told her of a childhood that anyone would have envied.

She told him things she never imagined sharing with a near stranger. Maybe she had been wrong about him, he seemed so easy to talk to and so very attentive as if hanging on her every word. She grew up being the middle child. Her Mother and Father divorced when she was a teen and she had 2 sisters. She had traveled all over the world and had 2 children which she had raised by herself after her divorce. She talked about the trials and tribulations of her life, withholding anything too personal.

Their time together passed quickly and soon he had to get her back to her car so he could head off to work. It had been a vey enjoyable first date and she felt badly that she had judged him so harshly. In fact, she found herself hoping he would call her again and soon.

He was different from anyone she had ever known and looking back she would always believe it was that first date when he actually stole her heart.

Labels: First Date, Lunch, Marina

The Beginning

They met while she was visiting someone in another state. It never occurred to her she would meet anyone who would impact her life in such a way in the 3 week visit to a relative. It was June of 2001. She had just ended a serious relationship 3 years earlier and certainly was not looking to get involved with someone else at this point in her life.

A mutual friend knew him and had shown him a photo of her. From that moment on, he called constantly begging her to have lunch with him. She found his behavior a bit pushy and continued to say "No."

One evening when her visit was almost over, the mutual friend phoned and said it was his birthday and all he wanted was for her to wish him a Happy Birthday. She thought, "Okay, then this guy will go away." Well, he got on the phone and she wished him a HB. Almost immediately he said he would have to call her some other time, he was with his family. She thought to herself this was a bit abrupt and rude since HE was the one who had been supposedly dying to hook up with her.

He did call later in the week. He said all he wanted was to take her to lunch one afternoon before she left town. He assured me her she would be in good hands and that he was totally "harmless". So, she finally gave in and they made plans to meet the next afternoon.

This was the beginning of a hell for her but she did not know that at the time.

Labels: Birthday, First Date, Him, Meeting, The Couple